happy one month, sweet girl!

It seems like just yesterday Ben and I were headed to the hospital so this cutie could make her way into the world. Somehow between all of the late night feedings and multiple diaper changes, and perfect snuggly moments and messy blowouts, a month seems to have slipped through our fingers. It's been incredibly fulfilling to take care of this sweet girl each day and to watch Ben take on the role of "Dad" as he interacts and bonds with her. He's the first one to get her out of bed in the morning and the last one to give her goodnight kisses, and it makes my heart oh so happy. What a joy it's been to have her around this past month and we can't wait for many more months and years to come!

Nicknames: Estee Babe, Estee B, Piglet, Little Miss Piggy, Sweet Pea

Clothing: She just grew out of her three newborn sleepers this week (I'm devastated!) and is wearing clothing in size 0-3 months. She's still wearing newborn sized diapers.

Likes:

- staring at lights and fans

- staring at the picture of the temple in our living room (probably just the contrast of the black frame against the white wall ;)

- having her back rubbed or patted

- nursing

- driving in the car/the freeway

- baths
- being worn in the wrap

- her swing

- her Rock 'n Play if she's asleep

- lounging in the sun

- moving in general (car, stroller, swing, the wrap, being held while walking/bouncing)

- snuggling while being burped

Dislikes:

- binkies

- the process of being swaddled

- her carseat

- sitting in her Rock n Play if she's awake

- cold bottles

- liquid vitamin D

we've turned into the papparazzi.

I should probably be embarrassed by how many photos I've taken of Estee Babe. . .

But then I think Nahhh- I'm her mom, which means it's my job to be an obsessive picture taker and I feel a little bit better about myself, ha ha. I promise that I'm trying to get this picture madness out of my system so I can stop throwing pictures of my baby at the world. :)

Here are some (ah, only some!) of the photos from her first 3 1/2 weeks of life:

splish splash.

Estee Babe was a little uncertain about this whole bath business at first, but quickly became a fan of the warm water and being "pampered." (What girl doesn't love to be pampered??)

She also loved it when grandma put her little bum in the water and let her kick around for a few minutes.

Aaaaand subsequently hated being cold while getting dried off.

(Anyone else love pictures of crying babies? I think they're my favorite! Also, baby towels are the cutest.)

hospital photos.

I totally get it now! I never understood how moms could run out of storage space on their phones, but when you think everything your kid does is adorable, it gets documented. ;) Ben and I definitely took way too many pictures during our 58 hours in the hospital, but looking back I'm glad we have them. (And I look through them all of the time. ;) They aren't fancy, but here are just a few of my favorites:

^^ When baby was about an hour old :) ^^

^^ Baby and her babushka ^^

^^ Watching the Superbowl with Dad // Waiting with Mom to go home ^^

^^ Lazy Sunday afternoon ^^

^^ Getting dressed to go home // Snuggles with Dad ^^

estee's birth story: part 2.

You can read part 1 here.

We jumped in the car and started toward the hospital (10-12 minutes away). I called my mom to let her know that it was baby time and at that point it was a struggle to talk through the contractions. I kept urging Ben to drive over the speed limit and got frustrated on the freeway when he was going 5 mph over and there wasn't a car in sight. ;) He upped the speed to 10 mph over the limit and I focused on breathing.

We pulled up to the main entrance and rushed in to the Women's Evaluation Unit check-in right inside the doors. Fortunately, no one else was in labor at 4am and the nurses could see that my water had broken, I was in pain, and I wasn't going to be heading home anytime soon. While they wheeled me into a room to get my vitals checked, Ben ran to park the car. By the time he got back 5 minutes later we were taken up to a labor and delivery room and I was given a gown to change into. My nurse entered things into the computer while asking Ben questions since I couldn't talk (contractions were coming every 1-2 minutes) and I lied down on the bed as she started my IV. She checked me and let us know that I was at a 4. At this point the pain was pretty intense and I either dealt with each contraction quietly or said "ow" over and over. I'll admit, I cried a tear or two right before the nurse called for the anesthesiologist!

By 5:15am the anesthesiologist had arrived and worked her magic, and I was feeling pretty darn great. (I thought epidurals would make everything go completely numb. Instead, I could feel and move my legs/feet/toes but didn't feel a single contraction. It was amazing!) The nurse checked me again but since I was only at a 5 she told us to get some sleep and she would be back right before her shift ended at 7am. Because of that blessed epidural, Ben and I were able to sleep for the next hour.

At 6:45am the nurse came back in to check me. To everyone's surprise, I had dilated to a 10 but baby was still sitting ridiculously high! In order to get her to work her way down, the nurse gave me a peanut ball to put between my knees and told me to again get some sleep. The new nurse on shift, Jenny, was absolutely amazing and came in to check on baby's progress a few times over the next two hours. Finally around 9:30am Jenny had me start pushing with Ben and a nursing student each holding one of my legs. ;) After an hour and a half of pushing and chatting in between each push, my doctor came in and decided to hang out/help me push since there wasn't a whole lot else going on that morning. After another hour and a half of pushing and watching baby's heart rate slowly go down, the doctor gave me the option of either having a C-section or trying to suction baby out 3 times with a C-section after that if she didn't decide to come.

Without any hesitation, Ben and I both agreed on trying to suction baby out; a C-section definitely wasn't our first choice. Within a minute the room had filled with nurses and residents and it finally sunk in that baby was almost here! The doctor did a quick episiotomy, counted out pushes for me, and baby came on the third suction.

The next few minutes I'll never forget. It was such a sweet and special moment, and I felt like I was officially meeting someone I already knew.

After the NICU team had checked baby out (there were some breathing concerns) and the nurses had done all of their tests and measurements, we were left alone to settle into our new normal as a family of three.

Second best day of my life.  :)

estee's birth story: part 1.

During my 9 months of being pregnant I found that most people love to share their negative experiences with their labor(s) and delivery(ies), which is really a bummer because no pregnant lady wants to hear about all of the things that could go wrong! I promise that you won't read anything negative about labor and delivery here. ;)

I spent my pregnancy trying not to think about the actual labor and delivery part of it all and instead focused on being pregnant and also what I thought motherhood would be like. Unfortunately, as I got closer to the end of my pregnancy I started to panic a teeny, tiny bit as reality set in and I realized that A) baby was coming out one way or another, and B) I couldn't plan any of it! I hadn't taken any birthing classes, I didn't read up on breastfeeding, I hadn't done any research on controversial parenting decisions, my birth plan merely consisted of getting an epidural if there was time, and I didn't even know what being effaced meant until my doctor explained it to me at 38 weeks pregnant. I was totally and completely "winging it." And to be honest, it was actually really great, minus those few moments of panic.

I figured that women have been giving birth for thousands of years without having first taken a birthing class and they definitely figured out how to feed their babies without first meeting with a lactation consultant. I was 100% banking on the fact that maternal instincts would kick in. . . or that my nurses would tell/show me what to do. 

Going into the whole labor and delivery experience with zero expectations and no concrete birth plan was fabulous; I didn't get hung up on things that were "going wrong" because there was no right or wrong in my mind. . .

(Birth story below. Read at your own risk. :))

sweet pea.

We're head over heels in love with our sweet pea and have been soaking up the last few days as a new family of three. And we really, truly couldn't be happier.  :)