primary-isms, round 2.

I teach the 6 to 8-year olds at church and these are some of the gems I've heard recently.

Sister W: "What do you guys like to do when you're feeling reverent?"
9-year old boy: "I like to eat a banana and go serve someone."


8-year old boy: "Is church almost over? We're gonna go see Transformers after church but this is taking too long."


Me: "So let's review! What's the first step of repentance?"
7-year old boy visiting class: "What would happen if you murdered two people and then ran to your house and hid under your bed and blamed it on your twin brother? Dang it, there's a rock in my shoe!"


Sister D: "Do any of you have stories about your ancestors that you want to share with us?"
7-year old boy: "My grandpa fought in a war with George Washington but I can't remember which one."
Sister D: "Oh, did one of your great, great, great grandpas fight in the Revolutionary War?"
7-year old boy: "I've never heard of that, but I know he was in Korea or something like that."

Original primary-isms post here.

9 gifts you shouldn't be buying in sincerity for loved ones this holiday season.

1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8 // 9

Atrocities like these shouldn't be wasted.  Please, folks, go to white elephant parties and spread some holiday cheer with these bad boys.  Brought to you by the internet and some very creative individuals out there.

french fries and hippos.

We stole a kid yesterday and hit up the zoo and McDonald's.

#winning

That's basically it.  Except that 3-year olds are pretty much the funniest things to happen to this planet and they say the best things.  Like telling you that there are two kinds of pumpkins: happy ones and sad ones.  Or they whisper "Hey.  Heeeeeyyyyy.  Ben.  Heeeeyyyyy." before succumbing to roaring like a lion to get your attention.  Or they start dancing around excitedly anytime you pass water (a lake, waterfall, drinking fountain, etc.).

Oh, to be 3-years old.

primary-isms.

Being in Primary sure provides some pretty funny moments...



Sister teaching sharing time:  "And now let's read Matthew 25:35-36."

*insert the cute voice of a 5-year old girl taking ten minutes to read the following two verses*

For I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison and ye came unto me.

Sister teaching sharing time:  "Thank you for reading that.  Okay, I have slips of paper with parts from the two verses that someone will come up to the front to act out.  Everyone else has to guess which part is being acted out.  Who wants to go first?"

7-year old boy:  "I hope the naked part isn't in there.  I like to keep my clothes on, thank you very much!"

- - - - -

Sister teaching sharing time:  "Who can tell me what is going on in this picture?"

5-year old girl waving her hand about wildly: "The girl is blind and Jesus is healing her!!!"

7-year old boy:  "She's obviously sick, not blind, stupid."

- - - - -

Me:  "I'm going to read you a story about a girl who loved Jesus so much, that she spent a whole Saturday cleaning up her church building after it was hit by a hurricane."

*reads story*

7-year old boy:  "Sucks to be her."

37 people who are worse at cooking than you.

This series of photos is too good not to share with everyone in the whole wide world.  Enjoy.  :)

YouTube gems, round 2.

If you missed round 1, you can find it here. :)

a mind-blowing card trick.

this is why they don't use a flute.
(I died laughing.)

world's cutest frog.

an old, but funny, gem.

disguised Jeff Gordon goes for a test drive.

my favorite e-cards.

I can't tell you how hard I laughed at these.

The bacon one killed me.