we're packing some bags.

I don't post very much, really.  Sometimes I just can't put what I'm feeling into words, or I'm just too lazy to log into Blogger and type it all out.  Usually it's the latter.  But today, the emotions are running a little high and the words to express what I'm feeling are just kind of tumbling out.

See that red state that B's foot is on?  It's Missouri.  And I'm moving to St. Louis in just under a month.

People ask me all the time, "Are you so excited to move and start your life being just the two of you?"  And I usually reply with something like, "It'll definitely be different to live outside of Utah, since I never have before."  But the truth is, I'm really, really nervous about it.  I'm the kind of person who gets attached to places, people, and the security of knowing where everything is.  So going from a county in Utah where I've literally lived my whole life (where my parents went to school, where our first house was, where my parents currently live, where I went to school, etc.) and knowing where the best grocery stores are and cheapest movie theaters are, I'm going to live in a city with as many people there as there are in the whole state of Utah.

I'm leaving behind the streets I've been driving for the past 4 years.  I'm leaving behind Cafe Rio pork. :)  I'm leaving behind the friends that I've made from jr. high, high school, and college.  I'm leaving behind my job, with my fabulous boss and co-workers.  I'm leaving behind my college, that I've just begun to appreciate.  (It took me three attempts to write the next little bit seeing as I had to take a little walk each time so no-one at work would notice by watering eyes and sniffling nose.  It was awkward.)  I'm leaving behind some of the best people I know.  I'm leaving behind my very best friend.  For years she's always been there--having my back, providing the laughs, giving support and advice--and it's no walk in the park to leave all of that behind.  I'm leaving behind my parents, sister, and brothers.  And I can't even begin to talk about that.

We've already started packing things up.  The hallway is filled with boxes of books and clothes, quietly reminding me that it's not too far away.  The emails back and forth with potiential employers are there.  Knowing we have a small apartment on the 28th floor of a building downtown makes it even more real.  I've already started looking up where the closest Walmart and Target is, and have been working to memorize surrounding towns in Missouri and Illinois.

Even with everything that will be left behind, I actually do think that St. Louis will be fun.  I'm excited to see what St. Louis is like since I've never been there.  I'm excited to go try some authentic ethnic foods and see what clothing stores are out there.  I'm curious to know what it's like to live 28 stories above the ground in the middle of a busy city.  I don't mind the thought of starting another job and trying something new, as well as meeting new people.  I'm interested to see what the wards are like out there.  And mostly, I'm excited to experience all of this with B.

There will be trips back out to Utah, or family coming to St. Louis.  There will be phone calls, texts, and some serious Facetiming going down.  There will be an updating of blogs with more stories, pictures, and details.  There will be cards and letters in the mail.  And there will still be those relationships.

People do this everyday.  And I can do it, too.